Archive for May, 2012

Don’t you just loath those people who float amongst our social circles, who seem to be jack of all trades yet masters of none? What do I mean by jack of all trades? Those who seem to know everything and have done everything under the son… “I saw this guy score a goal from halfway”… “That’s nothing; I scored a goal from halfway too, but with my eyes closed”.  Ask them to replicate that achievement and you will get every single excuse in the book and then some, yet whenever there is a conversation about amazing or wonderful achievements they feel that it is their civic duty to be the centre of attention and remind everyone about how great they are.

Do everyone a favour… shut up! “Empty vessels make the loudest noise”, there is nothing sadder than watching an adult making a fool of themselves, it’s very cute when your 5 “My uncle can eat the hottest chilli in the world… ”, are you that uncle? Stop misleading these poor kids.

Let your actions speak louder than your words; if you have a talent keep practising and let others praise you don’t go fishing for praise. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it


I remember growing up (way back when) in rural Eastern Cape, how guys would sit on street corners waiting for beautiful woman to walk by, gyrating their ATM (African Trademark) hips. Guys would approach them with that rural swag, full of confidence and with an added spring in their step, they would then proceed to woo her …“Mtana se Khaya, you are beautiful like the flowa, sweet like Cadbury; I want to be your man… I loved you forever”, these were the good old days when a guy knew how to woo a woman, the days before mobile communication devices, when he would court her for weeks/months on end, only phoning her home landline on certain days at certain times (and in case her mum picked up the phone, he would pretend to have the wrong number). They would meet at the corner to steal a goodnight kiss and a warm embrace, this was how a Kasi Casanova would operate… sadly these days are long gone, what we have now is the modern day version.

The modern day Casanova thinks that what you wear and how much daddy puts in your wallet determines how much game you have, these are the same guys running around in lime green skinny jeans, thinking they are Chris Brown. They have lost the art of courting and have replaced it with social media flirting (what you wearing girl, you in that sexy lingerie?…) and rude unflattering statements, let’s take a look at examples of both the old school and modern day charmer, and you tell me what you think went wrong?:

Old school:  “My sister, you are a vision from above and I think I’m in love please can I know you and get your number? Maybe we can go for KFC and talk about us. You are so beautiful I’m speechless… where are you going now? Can I walk with you?”

Modern school:  “Damm shorty, howdy a get all that booty up in those jeans? Your ass is Phat girl, your what they call an onion booty (make a brother wanna cry when he see all that junk), can I hit that? Hit me up with your BBM pin or hit me up on Facebook… don’t poke me I will poke you.”


For once I will look at this from a more metaphoric point of view, rather than a literal one. Makes for better reading I guess… from a literal angle what do we have? We have a cake in the middle of the road, how it got there only educated hypothesises can be formulated, actually who cares? Not like we can eat it now! It’s way past the 10 second rule (for those who didn’t attend an all boys high school, if food falls onto the floor or any other surface you have 10 seconds to pick it up and eat it ).

So let me see if I can get all Sigmund Freud here. The cake represents a new married couple and the sweet tasty phase of the marriage when all is dandy (honeymoon phase), no problems or stress. The reason the cake is in the middle of the road is because that represents equilibrium, as two souls join to become one, with a shared common mission and vision (in theory that is). The road itself represents the journey that they will take, as no road is perfect and straight, they will be faced with life’s great challenges such as: steep hills and slippery slopes, dangerous curves and sharp bends(just how many of us men like our woman) and like many Eastern Cape roads millions of potholes. So this is more than just a cake that fell of a truck… it is a tale of two people coming together to share the rest of their lives together, well if you are Kim Kardashian then 72 days.

 So from a metaphoric frame of reference this is what a Wedding cake-in-the-middle-of- the road means to me. Agree… disagree that’s your prerogative. So what do you think? Should I stick to my day job? Of become the next Sigmund Freud?